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This video is sponsored by Fairhaven Health. While I have a partnership with Fairhaven Health and recommend their products, the information and opinions in this video are 100% my own.
So now onto this ever important topic of the best sexual positions to get pregnant. We all need a little bit of help when we're trying to get pregnant. And we all want to know just how to do it right, to make sure we get the results that we're looking for. Now, I did a video similar to this about six years ago. It's actually one of the first videos I did on my YouTube channel and one of my most popular, but it's been a long time since I've done it. And I think that it needs a little bit of updating, which is why I'm coming to you today to talk about this topic, about sexual positions to get pregnant. So even though information hasn't necessarily changed dramatically in these six years, there's a lot of information that I left out in that video that I want to make sure that I share with you now, which is why I'm doing it again.
So, as we get started in this video, I want to first start off with some key questions that really often get asked, but I also think that there are potentially some misconceptions around them. The first one that I always get asked is, When we're done having sex, do I need to put a pillow underneath my hips so that the sperm doesn't come out? Let's clear that up. First, you can put a pillow underneath your hips, but is it going to make a huge difference? I'm not really convinced and the research isn't either. So it's certainly not going to hurt to put a pillow underneath your hips and laying down for 5 or 10 minutes is definitely going to be okay for you, but I don't think when patients ask, if this is essential for getting pregnant, my answer is definitely no.
And this usually leads to that second question is, Well, do I have to lay there for 30 minutes or an hour before I get up? Absolutely not. Not necessary. 5, 10 minutes, maybe 15 minutes max, if you want to lay down after intercourse, then maybe that's fine. But anything above that or beyond that is really excessive and unnecessary. And the research around it is not supportive. So then you're going to start to ask this question about, Well, once done having sex, his sperm comes out at some point, if I move or get up or even very quickly, let's differentiate a couple of different things here.
First is, there is sperm and there is semen. The semen is the carrier for the sperm. So once it does its job about getting the sperm as close as possible to the cervix, then the semen has done its job. It's not necessary. And that's normal to come back out of the vagina. But for the most part, most of the sperm are going to stay where they are. So maybe a little bit of laying down and relaxing after intercourse is going to be important. But anything beyond 10 to 15 minutes is really unnecessary and nothing that you have to do. Again with the pillow, you can do it, but I don't think it's necessary, but it definitely won't hurt anything.
So then I get this next question, which some of you might chuckle about, which is, Do I have to lay with my legs up in the air, up against the wall, after we have intercourse? No! It seems awkward, it seems funny, it seems strange. And I mean, after you've had this intimate moment with your partner who wants to then just go turn around and put our legs up into the air? Don't you want to cuddle with your husband or your partner? Don't you want to spend some quality time with them afterwards? That's really what that time is supposed to be for. So really legs in the air, not necessary, but again, if you want to take that extra step, put the pillow underneath your hips, then that's totally fine.
All right. Another important question. And don't worry, we're going to get into sexual positions in just a moment. So hang tight, but these go with this, because all of these questions kind of go hand in hand with positions and what to do around intercourse and sex. So we're still covering that topic. Does having an orgasm increase my chances of conception? Well, on one hand, the answer is potentially yes, because it contracts the uterus and the cervix hoping to pull that sperm further into the uterus, to where it needs to go. So yes, potentially it does, but really the research doesn't show that whether you have an orgasm or not in and of itself, in terms of the physical act of orgasming, doesn't really help conception.
But I do think it's important for a lot of reasons, one of which is that first one that I said, that contraction pulls the sperm, it helps a little bit, but also we know that women who have orgasms during intercourse also want to have more intercourse and have it more regularly. And obviously if you have more sex, you have higher chances of conception. And the research does show that the more you have sex, whether it's during your ovulation window or not your fertile window, the more likely you are to conceive. So if having an orgasm is going to get you to have more sex than, yes, absolutely, I want you to have an orgasm. Not to mention that it's awesome for you and it feels good, and that's partly why we have sex. So definitely my answer is, yes, we want that to happen, but potentially not for the reasons that you thought I was going to say.
So now getting into the topic that brought you to this video in the first place. What are the best sexual positions to get pregnant? The first thing I want you all to recognize is that for each one of you watching, it's potentially different. There is no one way that we should all be having sex to get pregnant. And there's reasons for that, which I'm about to get into. But my question for all of you to start off with is, Have you ever had a pelvic exam or an ultrasound where the tech or the OB-GYN said, Did you know that your uterus or your cervix is in X position or is not in a normal position? They may have used terms like anteverted or retroverted. If the answer is yes, comment below, let me know. Actually, whether the answer is yes or no, I want to know if you've ever been told this or not. And if you have, what position did they tell you it was in? Comment below, let me know, because I'm curious. I want to know and hear from all of you.
So before I explain to you the different positions of sex, based on where your uterus and cervix is, I want you to understand why this is important. Some of you might be saying, Well, it really doesn't matter what position my uterus is in, the sperm are just going to get to where they need to go, right? Wrong! Sperm are stupid. It's one of my favorite things to say, and I chuckle about it, but it's the truth. The sperm don't think that, they don't have a map and they're not thinking, Oh, if I get stuck here, I can just go backwards and go over there and so on. It doesn't work that way. There's a beacon from the egg to the sperm, and they're just trying to get from point A to point B. And they're trying to get there as fast as they can so they could get stuck hitting into a wall because they're trying to the egg over here, not recognizing that they need to go around.
So any help that sperm can get to get to the egg, and get there as quickly as possible and as efficiently as possible, is definitely going to work in your best interest. I also don't make this up just to have you have fun and try different positions in sex, although that is fun, and can be fun for all of you to try especially as intercourse gets monotonous and tedious and boring. Definitely have fun with it as well to liven things up in the bedroom. But the reality is this, I've worked with patients for many years and guided them in this exact same way, and they've had the results that we were looking for, where before, they didn't. So I'm telling you this because I do believe it works, and I've seen it work with my patients and that's why we're going in to this topic.
So you might also be asking is, if no one's ever told me this, why haven't they told me this? The reason is this, because your OB-GYN or fertility doctor don't really find it important. They don't think it's going to make a difference. And certainly if you're going through IVF, the position of your cervix usually doesn't make a difference because they are going to use a catheter to get into the uterus. And so they can usually bypass this issue. Now, if it's an extreme malposition, then that can cause some difficulty and some problems. And you want a trained person who's comfortable knowing how to get into your uterus, which is not in the right position, to be able to be doing the IVF or insemination procedure for you.
But that being said, how do you find out if or what the position your uterus is in? First and foremost, on a pelvic exam. Go into your OB-GYN have them do a pelvic exam and tell you, do they see that the cervix or uterus is in the right position? And if so, what is it that, and if not, what is that? Also an ultrasound. An ultrasound is a great way to know that because there'll be okay to scan your abdomen, be able to look at the uterus and see what position it's in and hopefully be able to guide you. Now, you're not really looking for them to guide you on what to do based on that position, that's where I come in. But you want them to give you that information so that you know exactly the position that your uterus is in.
So, to start, there are two main malpositions for a uterus, and I'm going to show you an image here, if I can get it on the video. The first one is anteverted and the second one is retroverted. We're going to go into that. There are variations of that. And I'm going to hope to explain that to you in just a second, right here. So you can see right here, I'm going to turn this off so you don't get the shining of my camera. You can see right here. These are the different variations of your uterus. The middle one is the normal position. And this one, let me make sure I've got it right, this one right here is the anteverted. You could see that the cervix is tilted forward. That's not ideal because it's harder to get into, it's being blocked right there by that wall. This is a flexed, anteverted and flexed, so you could see how the uterus, excuse me, right here is flexed backwards.
And then right over here is retroverted, it's going the other direction and it's also flexed right here. So all of these positions you can see are variations of a normal position for a uterus. So then we have to say to ourselves, Well, what do we do once we know what position our uterus is in? Well, first and foremost, we have to know which one it is. So we're going to start with, which one do I have here, a retroverted because this is the more common position or malposition that I see for patients, meaning that the cervix and the uterus are tilted backwards and it's not a direct shot when your partner penetrates through the vaginal canal.
Now, what we're trying to get, is that the penetration and ejaculation happened right at the cervix. If your cervix is tilted this way, but he's penetrating here, it doesn't get exactly to where it needs to go. Can you see that? So we want to change to a different position that is more angled right at the cervix. So if your uterus is positioned in a retroverted position, then the best way to have intercourse is going to be from behind, otherwise known as Doggy style. Now, the common comment that I get from patients when I say this is that, That's actually the most uncomfortable position for me, I don't enjoy it. The reason why it's uncomfortable is because one, from behind, you get a deeper penetration and two, that is angled and hitting right at the cervix, which is uncomfortable.
So first, tell your partner to be careful and mindful and to be sensitive that it is uncomfortable for you. But two, it's actually that position and the reason why it's uncomfortable is because it is hitting your cervix in the right way. So during ovulation and during your fertile window, this is ideal. Even if it is a bit more uncomfortable for you, hopefully you can manage that and make that happen. Now, outside of your fertile window, you don't have to do this position, but I do recommend it if you have a retroverted uterus, during your fertile window, and certainly during ovulation.
Now, the simple way to know what position your uterus is in, or what's the best position of intercourse, which is more important here, to get pregnant is that position that is typically a little bit more uncomfortable for you during ovulation, not outside of that, but during ovulation, is typically the position that I want you to do because of the way it's penetrating and hitting that cervix, and so that's really ideal. It would be ideal to go get an ultrasound or a pelvic exam to know for certain, but until that happens, this is the next best way to determine the best sexual position for you.
Now onto anteverted. So before we get into anteverted, actually, I'd like to take a diversion and talk about cervical mucus and lubrication. Often, when I have these conversations with my patients about position and sex, sometimes patients are saying that it's just uncomfortable. I don't have enough cervical moisture, I'm dry, and it's just not fun anymore to have intercourse. This is where lubrication is essential and having a good fertility friendly lubricant is really going to be valuable and important for all of you. So there's a lot of different lubricants out there that potentially, many of you can use and have told me you are using.
The first thing I want to tell you is, even though there are a lot of lubricants out there, the majority of them are not okay for fertility. They're not pH friendly for your vagina, and they're not healthy for sperm. They actually kill sperm. So the first thing you need to recognize is you do need to get a lubricant that is okay for fertility and sperm friendly. That's at the top of the list, above everything else. And the one that I typically recommend to all of my patients for that specific thing, is called BabyDance. Actually, it's got a great name, right? Because you're going to be doing your baby dance at home, and so shouldn't you have some BabyDance to help you make your baby? So I do love the name, but I love it for many more reasons than that.
The first one I already mentioned that has to be okay for your vaginal pH and for the sperm. So this is perfectly pH balanced for your cervical canal and for your vagina. And it has been shown that it does not kill any of the sperm that your partner is putting in to get pregnant. But one of the most important things that I also look for outside of making sure that it's not going to kill the sperm is, are the lubricant you're using toxic? And the majority, if not most of them, aren't toxin-free. This product, BabyDance, is paraben-free. So it's actually the only lubricant that is okay for fertility and is paraben-free. That fulfills almost every requirement that I have for my patients.
We want to make sure it's okay for our sperm, because the first thing we need to do is do no harm. So we don't want to harm the sperm and we don't want to do any harm to our bodies. I'm always talking to all of you about reducing toxic exposure. And I don't want you to put any toxic lubricants into the vagina for intercourse. It will affect you and your partner. And so this one is paraben-free and doesn't have the toxins that are going to either hurt the sperm or you. So that really fulfills almost every one of my requirements for my patients, which is why BabyDance is the main lubricant that I recommend for my patients and the one all of you should be using if you need a lubricant.
Some other things that are really important to know here is that it's a water-based, non-irritating formula which is always helpful. It is designed to be used during conception and fertility, which is great. It doesn't interfere with any of the main parameters for fertility; Count, motility, morphology, DNA, any of that. It does not interfere with any of that, and that been tested.
So now, let's get onto the anteverted position of the uterus. So if the position of the uterus is anteverted, meaning it's forward, towards the abdomen, then we need to be a little bit more creative in the position that we use. For some of you, depending on how anteverted it is, Missionary position might be just fine. But if you've been trying Missionary for a while and it's not working, then my next suggestion is to have you, the female partner in this, to be on top. We want you to be on top primarily because you can absolutely control the angle of insertion and you can control that really easily and more easily when you are on top as well. And so that is the position I would recommend for you, if it's anteverted. You can get a little bit more creative, obviously and have fun with it and try some positions either from the side or whatever your creative mind shows.
But the one thing I want you to take into account when you're thinking about this is, is it a little bit uncomfortable? Does it feel like it's hitting my cervix when he's penetrating? If so, then I do think that's a good position to be in, and that's what I want you to work on. If you've already tried some of these positions before and they haven't worked, the one tip that I want to give you is I don't want you trying a different position every day during your fertile window. I want you to do it more by cycle. So this cycle, you try it this way, maybe the next cycle you try a slightly different way to see if that makes a difference. Do it more by cycle versus by day so that you can really test to see if that's going to work.
But first on the list is to find out which position your uterus and cervix are in so that you know how to guide yourself based on what I've just taught you. And you've got to give it a fair chance of trying, so don't use too many variations of what I'm telling you here, because we do want to give you the optimal chance. And if you know that your uterus and cervix are in one of those positions, then that's really ideal. Come back, fast forward or rewind, I should say, to what I was mentioning earlier, is take all of those other tips into account. Don't get caught up in how long you've got to lay down and the legs up and so forth. Really, the most important part of having intercourse is to have fun, enjoy each other, try to make sure you guys both orgasm and enjoy and have sex frequently because that's fun, and that's important for your relationship.
Then it's about having the right position for it, and obviously making sure that your cervical mucus is ideal, it doesn't hurt, and there is enough moisture, which is where I recommend BabyDance.
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